Something New

I remember the day we first met. I saw you hiding behind the crowd and I just knew we’d make the best of friends. For a few months you seemed to stick by my side. We’d walk through campus together, sit through class together, and even go home together after a long and tiring day. We were inseparable. I carried your weight on my shoulders, while you carried my life inside of you. We made the perfect pair.

Much to my dismay, time came between us and caused us to go our separate ways. That always seems to happen. The moment I become so attached, the attachment is taken away. It was probably better that way, and thankfully, the distance didn’t last, you were back by my side in no time! Maybe I expected too much from you the instant you were back in my life. You seemed to be carrying more of my weight than ever before, and this time it was through the streets of DC. I seemed to take advantage of our being reunited, and I thought of only my needs, not yours. I was constantly stuffing things into you, without the slightest recollection that you already had enough. You didn’t seem to mind, until I noticed you were becoming rough around the edges. Even then, you didn’t seem to mind. It was as though you felt more needed, more loved, more cared for by everything I was giving you. So giving I did. It wasn’t until the other day you finally told me you had enough.

You were hanging by your last thread, and our days together were coming to an end. Just as I was becoming so used to you, you told me you were through. I knew secret things about you. I knew you inside and out. I knew your strengths and your weaknesses. And I knew that every morning I’d find you by my side. Well, those days are over now, you’ve been replaced. You told me you had enough. So, I took what was mine and left. It wasn’t easy. I spent weeks trying to find someone like you. Nothing ever seemed good enough. Nothing ever seemed strong enough. Nothing ever looked as good as you did. Do you remember how many compliments you’d get? Everyone always admired you, and since you were a gift, I always felt ok with agreeing with them. That makes you hard to replace. But I did it. Last night I found the new you. Purple is the new green!

The Life I Loved

There is nothing I love more than going home to good friends, great parents, and familiar surroundings. Therefore, last weekend was simply amazing.

Every Saturday afternoon when cougar football comes on, I instantly get depressed. Not literally, but I long to be at the games, cheering on my team, amongst a rambunctious crowd of crazy Mormons. It just doesn't get better than that, really, it doesn't. Especially when BYU is highly ranked and seems to destroy whomever they're playing (although, at this very moment I'm watching the BYU/TCU game...now THIS is depressing). I hate being on a losing team, so BYU is always (or usually) in my favor. The east coast isn't. I think LaVell Edwards Stadium and I have equally missed each other, so being the true BYU Alumnist I am, I paid my respects to my beloved home away from home. It just happened to be homecoming week last week too, so it only seem fitting for me to be there.

I may or may not have made an appearance in the LRC and faked being back at work in my Lab Assistant days. The LRC truly was my home way from home!

Naturally there would be blue bunned J-Dawgs at the tailgate party!
Naturally Lauren and I would be wearing matching sweatshirts!
And naturally someone thought we were sisters! I take that as a compliment.

#1, Fui Vakapuna. We would have dated if I didn't move back east. :)

Lauren, BryBry, and I way too excited to be at the game. BryBry and I both flew home to see our cougars.
We're true blue through and through!

Nothing says welcome home than 45 degree weather in the middle of October. And yes, it snowed while I was there, and then proceeded to be 70 degrees two days later!

Sadly my camera remained in my bag the rest of the trip, and an entertaining night has no true documentation. Cafe Rio, hanging out with some old friends, and an embarrassing game of catch phrase, all made for an AWESOME Saturday. I just love Provo. I realized if I were back at school, it wouldn't be the same. I may no longer have status as a BYU student, but I'll always have rock star status whenever I visit Provo!
I hate upsets, the destruction of a perfect record, and a 16 game winning streak being destroyed! It's just like BYU to lose on the road. That's depressing too.

Mmm Mmm I'm Lovin' It

Dear McDonalds,

I don't know the last time I was conned into eating your food. I'm thankful for that.

Please tell me how you've esteemed yourself to be sprawled across the entire world, clogging one artery at a time? I just don't understand?

In this time of financial crisis I wish you'd go bankrupt too. Only I wish the government would be wise enough to leave you ruined.

You don't deserve the worlds business. Perhaps if you were serving us real food, the kind that comes from animals and plants, I might think otherwise.

You tell me that you're dedicated to serving me the highest quality of foods. But alas, you've contaminated our food with chemicals, convincing us that it's Mmm Mmm good.

Where is the quality in that?

I see right through your cunning ways. I wont be fooled for one second.

We may have been friends when I was a child, but only because I didn't know any better.

Please tell me how you sleep at night, knowing this is what you're serving thousands of people on a daily basis?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Sincerly,

Baffled and dismayed

Wednesday's Words of Wonder

When I should have been working, my mind was thinking of other things...

Running, one mile left, past the point of exhaustion, and a man with weights on his back sprints past me. Am I THAT out of shape? Or is he just a showoff

Changes in your ranks
#12 most desired (gained 2 places)
#13 most useful (lost 4 places)
#45 person with the prettiest eyes (lost 13 places)
Thank you facebook, and my many cyber friends for thinking SO highly of me and lowering my standings. Why in the world are people being compared on facebook? Who are these people who actually take time to compare their friends? And what do people do with this information anyway? Maybe I should start telling people, "According to facebook, I may have lost 4 places for being the most useful, and 13 places for having the prettiest eyes, but I've gained 2 places making me the 12th most desired." Will that entice someone to want to date/befriend me? I would sure hope so.

The restrooms in my building have signs in each stall that reads, "Please flush toilet. Repeat if necessary." Isn't that just common sense? Common courtesy?

Is it ironic, or just bad luck that the creepy man who stared at me on the bus the other day has been in the same metro car as me the past few days? Not just the same train, but the same car? Creepy!

So Long, Farewell

22, I never really cared for you.

You sent me away to become someone new,

And I didn't really care to do what you wanted me to.

22, you weren't particularly that fun,

A year full of heartbreaks, realities, and then some.

Looking back on my years trials as a whole,

You've done way too much to leave me feeling dull.

22, is it really true,

That I'm no longer a student going to BYU,

And I have to grow up and do something new?

22, why did you ship me off to the east coast?

I always thought the west coast would be my residing host?

You've rudely awakened me to the realities of life,

And caused me to go through some unnecessary strife.

23 will be better, leaving behind my past pain.

Only to show the east coast I can rule and reign,

But not in a way that will cause me to be feign,

And not rightly so, if it leaves me feeling vain.

Well 22...

...you and I are finally through.

23, I hope you can inherently see,

That I need you to take extra good care of me.

Pure Confusion

I was patiently waiting for the Metro to come pick me up and take me home. It was a little before 5, and work was over for the weekend. I stood watching the minutes slowly wind down until my train would be arriving, 5..4..3..2..1. In the midst of the hustle and bustle of the busy and tired workers that crowded the metro station, my people watching mentality kicked in. I noticed two individuals, possibly friends, possibly lovers, perhaps mere acquaintances. I don't know why they caught my eye? But for some reason they stuck out--just the way a redhead sticks out in a crowd. The train finally arrived, and I stepped on. So did they. Since I no hablo español, I was quickly shunned from eavesdropping on their conversation. I exited the train. So did they. I made my way past them as I quickly walked up the escalator, leaving the thought of them behind. I stood in line to wait for the bus, and quickly noticed, so did they. It wasn't until I was standing in line waiting for the bus that I realized, that who I thought was a girl was actually a guy, and who I thought was a guy, was actually a girl. I stared...probably longer than is polite, (although, I don't think it's polite to stare at all, so I applogize for my lengthy gaze) to make sure what I just discovered was actually true. Yes! I boarded the bus, giggling to myself, feeling slightly embarrassed for me thinking poorly, and for them being deciving. I glanced a few more times, just to make sure I was right. Yes!

This got me thinking. Why/how do women lose sight of their femininity and men their masculinity? It just doesn't seem right.

Seize the Moment

We've all been on the receiving end of gag gifts, or perhaps been the contributor of these unnecessary items. They're funny, generally inappropriate, and naturally make the present moment extremely uncomfortable, only adding to the humor of it all. A few weekends ago, I discovered the gag gift of gag gifts. A special thanks to the Amish in Lancaster County, and the small city of Intercourse, Pennsylvania, for selling merchandise with the phrase "I love Intercourse" written all over it (pun may or may not be intended). Perhaps I'll give my new Pennsylvania keepsake away as a bridal gift, perhaps I'll be selfish and keep it for myself, only to be worn on a special and inapporpriate occasion. Decision still pending.

On a side note, the Amish have a lot more to offer than merely cheap "souvenirs". Their home cooked cooking is exceptionally delicious. Their lifestyle unique in many ways. And a buggy ride through Intercourse is not only educational, but gorgeous as well. If you're ever in this area, I highly recommend visiting. As the Amish would say, "Intercourse, Pennsylvania, come out and play!"

Going Green

I'm not a tree hugger in anyway. I occasionally remember to recycle the newspaper, milk containers, or any alumminum, plastic, or glass containers I may have accumulated throughout the week/month. I don't buy organic foods. I can't afford them. I've yet to purchase a "hip" and newly deemed, fashionably accteptable, reusable grocery bag. And by no means do I drive a hybrid car. However, just today I realized I'm doing something that can land me a spot in the eco-friendly category. Seeing that the lights in my office are on a timer, and naturally when you don't walk around enough they turn off, it's safe to say, I spend a majority of my day sitting in the dark. Some may say I'm lazy, I say I'm conserving energy (no pun intended). Oops, it just got dark again.

Turn the Lights Off

It's nearly 12 in the afternoon as I lay in bed listening to the cries of Mother Nature. Don't worry, I didn't just wake up, I just haven't moved much in my last few waking hours.

Most people would consider today a day of bad weather, I consider it blissful. As nice as a sunny day with a gentle, cool breeze is, the tears from heaven are far more pleasant and relaxing to me, than having the sun beat down on my face and having to wipe away a drop of sweat that has accumulated from the heat. Today is a good day.

Today is also my last day of "vacationing". I've somehow managed to turn my five days of vacation into a month long retreat. From Utah, to Idaho, up to New York, and now back to DC, I've had one adventure after another. I'm ready to start working again, but I'm convinced that in another month, I'll be ready for some more time off. Here's a recap of my month of relaxation.

• Doctor, dentist, hair appointment
• Got a new job
  
• Oral surgery
• Steph' wedding
• Worked at Joe Morley's (who doesn't like to make money on Vacation?)
• A trip to the cabin in Idaho to go wakeboarding
• Visited the "Big Apple" for the first time

to include: Central Park, the Zoo, Empire State Building, Time Square, Battery Park, Ground Zero, Shopping, 5th Avenue, Greenwich Village, Chinatown, Little Italy, walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, Rockefeller Center, Mary Poppins, the US Open, and ate way too much good food for one weekend.

• Got another new job...apparently I can't make up my mind
• Spent a week "relaxing" in/around my apartment
• Vicariously lived the first week back to BYU through all of my friends still in college (I probably shouldn't admit to that)
• Had a tooth fall out
• More dentist visits

It's been fun, but it's time I wake back up to reality and begin working once again.

I've been cursed

Let's rewind six years:
I was merely a teenager that refused to believe "mothers know best". So, when my Mom told me not to go out with all of my friends the night before we left for Mexico, what did I do? Naturally, I went out with all of the boys. A mother's intuition is far more trustworthy than my own selfish desires. However, as a teenager, listening to my Mom was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But of course, as the events of the evening unfolded, I instantly wished that I would have listened to my Mom for a change. Going home with a knocked out tooth wasn't my ideal way to end the evening. To make matters even better...no, worse, the dentist was out of the office the next day, and my tooth couldn't get fixed before I had to board the plane for Mexico. My family joked that I'd fit in with the Mexican's with a missing tooth. I didn't see any humor in that.

Let's fast forward six years to the present:
Ever since getting my tooth knocked out, I have a fear it will happen again. Every time I walk up and down the stairs, I think to myself, "I better not trip, or I'll fall and hit my teeth and they'll all fall out." Without fail, that is my thought process every time I put my first foot on the step. I can't count how many times I've frantically woken up to feeling my teeth to make sure they're all intact. My worst nightmare is that my tooth will somehow fall out again. Well, funny that as I sat on my bed yesterday afternoon, talking to my Mom, my worst nightmare came true. I'd be lying if I said this time I found it humorous. Looking in the mirror only caused the tears to become more and more uncontrollable...I looked like one of those freaky witches that haunt you in the movies. I was a mess. Thank goodness for dentist, but I've had my fill of them for the year. From a cleaning, to surgery, to a tooth falling out in the course of three weeks, what more do I have to endure? Let the humor begin.

Uh-Oh

Thanks to JoNel Aleccia, a health writer for MSNBC, and my sister for sending me this article, the reasoning behind my sweet tooth addiction is now crystal clear. I should have guessed that the horrible ear infections I'd have as a little girl would end up bitting me hard later. I like to think of myself as tolerable to pain, sometimes too tolerable actually. However, the ear aches I'd get as a little girl left me screaming in tears, now running for sweets, and a future of obesity? Yes on the first two, NO on the latter. Maybe you can blame ear aches for your sweet tooth too. While you're reading the article contemplating this new found knowledge, I'm going running. Obesity and I are not friends, never have been, and never will be.

Welcome Home

I'm a big advocate of people going on missions. I don't think there is anything better you can do with your time than to serve the Lord. Sometimes I wish I'd gone on a mission, sometimes I think it would be such an incredible experience, sometimes I rather be on a mission working than in the real world working, and then, when I sometimes think of those "sometimes", I remind myself that someday I will serve a mission...when I can have my husband as my companion. Missions are great and the world is in need of devoted missionaries to bring people into the church. However, as much as I love missionaries, I love even more when they come home.Welcome home Sister Schallenberger!!!I'm glad I have friends who are willing to give their time to the Lord, but I love when the Lord can give me back my best friends!

Tell me I'm dreaming

My trip to Utah has been a trip full of unexpected events. In less than 36 hours of being home I got a new job, had surgery, and shipped my car off to DC. Well, there goes wondering what I’m going to be doing with my life in the near future, and whether or not I should stay in Utah or go back to DC. I'm going to be a Health Policy and Advocacy Coordinator for Systems of Nuclear Medicine. Problem solved. Simple as that.

Despite all of the craziness that has occurred since being home, I can’t help but feel blessed for everything that has happened. God really does have his hands in each of our lives and is so mindful of our needs. This simple truth has been manifested to me once again.
Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure:

We may be college graduates, but you can never be too old for sleepovers. Stephy's wedding festivities. Who would have ever guess I had oral surgery only a few hours earlier? Laughing, eating good food (or attempting to do so), and a dance party were definitely not part of the doctors orders.


My swollen cheek is a little (or a lot) more evident the day after. I don't think the previous days festivities were good for the swelling and bruising. But hey, I wasn't about to miss my friends wedding. After all, that's what I came home for.

One way ticket

I'm sitting at work right now, too antsy to actually be doing anything, enjoying the imaginations that seem to have taken over my mind. In less than two hours, I'll be sitting on the Metro, patiently awaiting my arrival to the airport. Normally, the thought of going back to Utah leaves me kicking and screaming not to make me go back. Today, I can't wait to go home! I can't wait to see my parents again. I can't wait to see my friends again. I can't wait to see the mountains again. And I can't wait to sleep in my own bed, in my own room, in my own house. No matter where I end up, no matter how far from Utah I'll be, that little bedroom, up the stairs, down the hall, second door on the left, will always be mine. Now, the real question is, should I stay or should I go? My one way ticket home has left the ending of my trip undefined. Maybe I'll come back to DC, maybe I wont. Do I really want to stay in Utah? That's the underlying question at the moment. Coming home for a good friends wedding, hanging out with all of my best friends from college, and indulging myself in familiarity, may make my decision slightly biased. For now, I'm going home, back to the place where I belong...I don't regret this life I chose for me...I'm going home.

Back in the Day

So, naturally I've graduated from college. I have a diploma that will be arriving in the mail as soon as I get my internship material turned in. I have a job. I'm working in the real world and I get my first paycheck tomorrow, (cross your fingers that that's really true). I tell everyone who's going back to BYU how jealous I am that I'm no longer a college student, and that I'm no longer living the college lifestyle.

So, why just today, did it just hit me that I'm really NOT going back to BYU? That I'm really not done working at the end of August. And that I'm really stuck working for the rest of my life? Maybe reality takes awhile to set in for me, knock me into line, and wake me up to what's instore for the next several years of my life. It's a rude awakening.

From my childhood to my adolesent years, and now this whole young adulthood chapter, life has had some crazy twists and turns. What happened to those days of watching Saturday morning cartoons like the Smurfs, CareBears, Fraggle Rock, Gummi Bears, and DuckTales?

Sing, Floss, Stretch, Travel

I first heard this when I was living in Hawaii three years ago, and have continued to listen to it regularly ever since. I'm sure most of you have heard this before. I'm sure it's new to some. And I'm sure if you listen to it over and over again like I do, something new will stick out at you each time. It has a tendency to relate to your every day, your every worry, and your every moment. So, when you're in need of some good advice, sit back, relax, and take in these seven minutes of pure goodness. I like to call this, my sauntra.* You can thank me later.

*Note, this word is not in the dictionary, I merely made it up. It will soon be found in trusting websites such as Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary. However, it will not be found in Webster's dictionary. It means poetic advice.

Is it Funny?

It's funny how life lessons have to be learned the hard way sometimes. It's funny how sometimes we think we know better than God. And it's funny that sometimes we can be so caught up in the moment, that the last thing we want to do is listen to the advice of everyone around us. It's funny isn't it? It's funny until we realize that the hard way is usually the best way. That God knows each of us so personally, that he knows what we need to experience, and for that I am eternally grateful. And when we're caught up in the moment, others advice is usually a lot more realistic than our own. Well, here's to another lesson learned. Here's to realizing yet again, God is directing my life. And here's to wishing I had listened to everyone around me, but thankful I can walk away from this experience with a greater understanding of myself. Usually life's lessons are priceless...this one cost me $200.
In the words of Wicked:
"It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap...Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost. Well if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost...as someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly, and if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free. To those who ground me, take a message back from me!"

Two in One Day, No Way?

I set a goal this week to wake up every morning before work to go running. Meaning I should be waking up every morning around 6:15. Which is why, at 11 o' clock at night, I'm posting yet another blog entry. Naturally, I'm stalling going to bed early. Isn't that what little kids do? Apparently, I still have childish behaviors in me, and I'm okay with that. Moving on...with all of the kids on the east coast, and my parents still stuck in Utah, they decided to come celebrate the 4th with us. They're just great. Here are some pictures of our thrilling 4th of July.

The Candrian clan hanging out at Mt. Vernon...


Waiting in the rain, on the steps of the Lincoln for the fireworks.

And going crazy at the pool.


Togetherness, it's a beautiful thing. My parents definitely need to come visit us more.

Sorry, wrong number

Naturally I don't get embarrassed too easily. Naturally. Until I call someone who is on his honeymoon. Naturally that's a good time to be embarrassed. Not only is that awkward, but really embarrassing.To make the situation even better, not only is this guy on his honeymoon, he's on his honeymoon with the lady I work with. Shouldn't cell phones be turned off on a honeymoon?

(for the record, and so I don't appear creepy that I called a married man...the phone call was strictly business related courtesy of the ADA)

Tell Me I'm Dreaming

I used to be bad at updating my blog. Then I got better. And now, sometimes I forget I even have a blog. I always joke about making my daily happenings "blog worthy", but somehow actually forgetting to record that "blog worthy" material. This post may or may not be what I consider "blog worthy", but it'll have to do for the time being.

As of lately, the most commonly spoken four words from my mouth are: "When I have money...". Living in DC, working at a non-paid internship has led me to speak these words more frequently than I would deem acceptable. Yet, almost daily, they pass through my lips into the ears of those around me. Unfortunate for me, and unfortunate for everyone who has to hear it over and over and over and over again. Am I being greedy with all the things I say I'll get "when I have money?" Most definitely not. You can be the judge of that.
When I have money...
...I'll decorate my room really cute
...I'll be able to go out to dinner with friends and eat more than the complimentary appetizers that are served before you get your actual meal that you have to pay for
...I'll buy hangers to hang up my clothes
...I'll be able to afford plugging in my fan to cool down my 100 degree room
...I'll be able to take the bus up to NYC
...I can go shopping for a substantial supply of groceries
...I'll be able to fly home to Utah to visit my parents
Is it safe to say the homeless man, who sits outside of my building, everyday I walk to work, makes more money than I do? I would undoubtedly say so. Thank goodness the ADA decided to be generous and start paying me, as of last Monday. Now, if I could just see the actual paycheck, maybe the phrase will transition from "when I have money" to "when I have enough money."