Sunday, November 15

Wake Me in the Morning

I'm not high maintenance, at least I don't think so.
But sometimes, I really wish I was,
And didn't always agree with most things that come my way.
With that preface, let's recapture my recent adventures.
You're lucky I'm even alive to do the recapturing!

Luxury tent style.
And sleeping with the lions.
Don't be fooled, that's not the luxury part.
I'm not really sure what is?
Maybe that my "tent" had an actual toilet, shower, bed, and electricity in it?
That's just a guess though.
I still prefer my 5 star hotel room.
But like I said, I'm not high maintenance.

A loud crack startles me from my deep slumber.
Heart starts racing.
Phew, just some elephants.
Try to fall back to sleep.
Unfortunately, I drank a small, miniscule amount of water
Just before closing my eyes the first time.
And of course, nature calls at the wrong moment.
But I don't move, too afraid the wrong sound
Could make for some unhappy visitors.
So, I lay there.
Starting to get uncomfortable.
But finally fall back to sleep.

Chomping ensues.
A loud roar follows.
Now footsteps.
They're getting closer.
Right outside my tent now.
And silence falls upon the outside world.
Heart races even faster.
Nature calls even harder.
What do to? What to do? What to do?
I lay motionless,
And just listen to what I can't see,
While nature keeps calling and calling and calling,
And heart keeps racing and racing and racing.
I debate with myself the following options.
Get up and relieve myself=lions hear me and attack, my life is over.
Keep holding it and hope the lions leave=uncomfortable for a few more minutes.

Still holding it,
Still uncomfortable,
Still hearing lions,
Still wondering,
What to do? What to do? What to do?
Still uncomfortable?
Nope, now painful.

Without going into too many more details,
Let's just say I wish I owned depends
And wore them to bed last night.
Instead, I came up with another option,
While fervently praying that, although I wasn't going to church today,
God would let me live through the night,
Lions, uncomfortable/painful feelings, and all.
And wah la, I survived a far from ideal night
Of sleeping with the lions,
Where only a piece of canvas
Shielded my life.

I'm lucky, I could have been one of them:


Erin S said...

And why were you camping in the middle of the African wilderness?

Brittany said...

You weren't the only one in the tent, were you? Be glad you're not pregnant, you probably would have wet your pants. I can't hold it longer than an hour these days. Sounds like a long night though and definitely exciting!

AJ Candrian said...

Awesome. I love it.